Welcome to Planet Suzi!
It’s a nice place to visit, people say, but I’m not sure I could handle living here.
Sure you could if you like never-ending adventure.
Here, you will find stories about my Twilight Zone life as a Gex X woman with zero f****s left to give. Zero.
I’ve found myself currently straddling two Americas.
One I call the outer rim. We will call it…Rison, a rural area, population around 1,300, in southeast Arkansas that my ancestors settled in the 1860s. My late dad used to joke that the population never changed because every time a baby was born a man left town.
The other? The urban core. Let's name it Pine Bluff. These planets are approximately 22 miles from each other but they are decades apart. I grew up in Pine Bluff, once a booming business mecca on the Arkansas River but now is a faded glory of itself on a comeback.
How did I get here?
Like most people my age I blame my parents. Or that fifth grade math teacher I hated. I will tell you about both in this newsletter.
I am an expert in untold secrets, Duran Duran, shady politics and other people's sex lives. I’ve written for a lot of national and international magazines and newspapers.
I’m a rebel and “brazen hussy” as one elected Cleveland County official called me way back in the 90s. I’ve been called every name in the book. It’s okay. I’m waiting to hear a new one. Maybe in Portuguese or pig Latin.
Yes, I am that woman who wrote the cult classic book called “Sex in the South: Unbuckling the Bible Belt.” Before you ask, no, I do not hang from the chandelier when I have sex. No, the book is not about my sex life. Yes, I did go undercover to a bondage club in Alabama. And I was on the Dr. Phil Show.
So what is this newsletter about?
My bizarre life and the people — saints and sinners —I meet along the way served with a straight-up dose of politics.
You may receive an interview with a politician one day, a story about a cool kid I met in the Dollar Tree while I was buying craft crap I don’t need, a field trip to a farm, a postcard from a sports event or some essay from my stash of writings from 20 years ago. If I’m tired you might only get a bad poem I wrote once on a cocktail napkin. Joking. Or not. This newsletter is like playing Russian roulette with a girl full of piss and vinegar as they say.
We will have conversations on Planet Suzi while sipping coffee or hot tea. Nah. Let’s not kid ourselves. You will need a stiff adult drink. Make it a triple. Depending on the day you receive the newsletter, you may think: How the hell did this woman survive without just downing a pint of Pine Sol and calling it a life? I wonder that myself at 3 a.m.
When you subscribe we can discuss anything you want as long as we don’t make anyone grab a gun or the Snelling salts or land me in court getting sued. I also prefer no death threats. I may even host Q&A sessions — if everyone behaves. Don’t ask me how to write a book, though. You have to pay extra for that.
The Planet Suzi newsletter will zoom to your email inbox when you least expect it. Likely two times a week maybe three depending on whether the stars align in the 8th house of Scorpio. I promise not to overload you with dispatches. Most people can only consume small doses from Planet Suzi. I get it.
But some of you may want more!
You can help me fulfill my dream of having thousands of subscribers while helping me pay my nine pets’ food and vet bills by subscribing to my newsletter.
Subscriptions are $7 a month, or $50 a year.
A subscription gives you more country-city tales, FOI'd documents no one wants you to see, midnight musings, curious confessions, Cleveland County capers, and a few sexy secrets from a galaxy far, far away. You also have access to the weekly Planet Suzi discussion thread to dish on all of these topics.
A Badass founding subscription gives you an original short story and a funky fortune like those in a Chinese cookie by me to you.
Subscribing also enables me to tell news stories I want to tell.
Join the fun if you dare!
